The preface and first thirty pages of this book provide a clear accurate view of what children of inconsistent parenting struggle with as adults. I bought the book for the first thirty pages alone and bought copies for other family members.
The fact that the rest of the book covers parenting strategies for pregnancy, infancy, toddlers, up to teens, adult children and grandparenting, is just icing on the cake. Those chapters can be dipped into as needed.
Where Janet Woititz had given thirteen things that ACoAs often suffer, Dr. Jim (James) Mastrich gives ten and I feel they are more accurate. He also describes far earlier, and far clearer than Woititz had, exactly what it was in the parenting that triggered us as children to the traits we chose. Brines gives early several examples in the voices of the "adult-children" now trying to parent their own children, and these examples rang much truer to my experience than the examples in Woititz' book had. Not that her book isn't worth reading, but I believe this book gets to the point much quicker, more accurately with better examples.
The first thirty pages are not about parenting, in particular, but a quick understanding of the ten struggles that adult-children face.
The chapters about age-stages are also very interesting. Though my daughter is now an adult and my stepson almost, I still found myself benefitting from hearing about parenting infants, toddlers, etc. It affirmed those things I had done well, and exposed those things I could have done better, ouch! But it also took me back to how I had been parented and strangely enough I almost felt like reading how a parent could have done better, seemed to sort of resolve in my mind my memoires, as if the book were re-parenting the child in me. So if you're an adult child whose parents were inconsistent, maybe reading these chapters could be sort of like biblio-therapy for you, as it was for me.
Masrtichs' later books go by Dr. Jim rather than James, if you're looking for more books by this author. Amazon hasn't linked them together yet.
I first came across this book at my library where it is available on Overdrive as a streaming audio, read by George Guidall. When I heard that voice I was pleased, as I had listened to dozens of books narrated by him in the nineties. I would say Guidall's voice doubled the value of the book for me. When I bought the printed edition it was almost a let down. Perhaps Guidall put some extra emphasis on the right syllables, that made it all the more meaningful for me. It seems you can still get cassettes of this performance here: http://smile.amazon.com/dp/0788703021 or streaming from Overdrive if you have a library card..
Acoa'S Guide to Raising Healthy Children: A Parent Ing Handbo: A Parenting Handbook for the Adult Children of Alcoholics Paperback – 17 January 1989
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- Language : English
- Paperback : 272 pages
- ISBN-10 : 0020405812
- ISBN-13 : 978-0020405818
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Amazon.com: 5 reviews
Patrick Moore LMT BA
First Thirty Pages Worth the Cost of the Book! ... and chapters can be healing even if you're done parenting..25 September 2015 - Published on Amazon.com
2 people found this helpful
jennifer e daggett
Four Stars23 November 2016 - Published on Amazon.com
well.this is good
Five Stars10 April 2015 - Published on Amazon.com
Great! Very helpful in understanding ACOA's.
American Idol Addict
Excellent Book that Includes How to Parent Young Adult Children3 May 2015 - Published on Amazon.com
This book is extremely helpful to ACOAs attempting to raise their children without passing on their own pain and issues. How to help with your young adult children is rarely addressed in parenting books and there is an entire section devoted to this. My children are 21 and 24 and in the book how to separate and let go are discussed as well as how to deal with "empty nest" syndrome. The book accentuates the need for parents to have their own lives and develop their own interests apart from their grown children. I highly recommend this book for ACOAs grappling with the challenges of parenthood.
2 people found this helpful