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Coaching Habit: Say Less, Ask More & Change the Way You Lead Forever Paperback – Illustrated, 29 February 2016

by Bungay Michael Stainer (Author)

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Look for Michael’s new book, The Advice Trap, which focuses on taming your Advice Monster so you can stay curious a little longer and change the way you lead forever.

In Michael Bungay Stanier's The Coaching Habit, coaching becomes a regular, informal part of your day so managers and their teams can work less hard and have more impact.

Drawing on years of experience training more than 10,000 busy managers from around the globe in practical, everyday coaching skills, Bungay Stanier reveals how to unlock your peoples' potential. He unpacks seven essential coaching questions to demonstrate how―by saying less and asking more―you can develop coaching methods that produce great results.

· Get straight to the point in any conversation with The Kickstart Question
· Stay on track during any interaction with The Awe Question
· Save hours of time for yourself with The Lazy Question, and hours of time for others with The Strategic Question
· Get to the heart of any interpersonal or external challenge with The Focus Question and The Foundation Question
· Finally ensure others find your coaching as beneficial as you do with The Learning Question

A fresh innovative take on the traditional how-to manual, the book combines insider information with research based in neuroscience and behavioural economics, together with interactive training tools to turn practical advice into practiced habits. Witty and conversational, The Coaching Habit takes your work―and your workplace―from good to great.

"Coaching is an art and it's far easier said than done. It takes courage to ask a question rather than offer up advice, provide and answer, or unleash a solution. giving another person the opportunity to find their own way, make their own mistakes, and create their own wisdom is both brave and vulnerable. In this practical and inspiring book, Michael shares seven transformative questions that can make a difference in how we lead and support. And he guides us through the tricky part―how to take this new information and turn it into habits and a daily practice.
―Brené Brown, author of Rising Strong and Daring Greatly.

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Product details

Paperback : 244 pages
ISBN-10 : 0978440749
ISBN-13 : 978-0978440749
Language: : English

Best Sellers Rank: 9,522 in Books (See Top 100 in Books)
- 161 in Business Management
- 222 in Business Leadership Skills
- 708 in Health, Family & Lifestyle Self Help

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Most helpful customer reviews on Amazon.com

Amazon.com: 1,590 reviews

Brandon

Reasonable anti-folk wisdom but its a $12 magazine article

31 July 2018 - Published on Amazon.com

Verified Purchase

I was really excited to read this when I saw the reviews, but I should have paid attention to the 1-2 star ones that say much of the content is superficial. At least half the pages are just magazine-style quotes from the book or blank lines. I think the 7 questions could have been covered in this depth in an HBR article. I think the book is actually intended as something given away free in a management workshop, but if that is the case, then the Amazon page should say that!

I am trying to learn how to manage small teams (4-5 people) and got a lot more out of "First, break all the rules : what the world's greatest managers do differently" / Marcus Buckingham and Curt Coffman because the advice is based on a rigorous analysis of thousands of interviews with managers.

I am a professor, not a business executive, so take this review with that in mind.

160 people found this helpful

John W. Pearson

The Best Coaching Question in the World

28 February 2016 - Published on Amazon.com

Verified Purchase

Oh, my.

MEMO TO EVERY PERSON I’VE PRETENDED TO COACH OR MENTOR: I’m so, so sorry! Honest!

Here’s why. This month I was a learner in a seminar with CEOs and board chairs. The highly energetic, wise and witty facilitator was Michael Bungay Stanier, the author of the hot-off-the-press book, “The Coaching Habit.”

At a coffee break, halfway through the three-hour, how-to-coach practicum, I told Stanier that—already—the seminar was on my Top-10 list of best workshops ever attended (and I’ve attended my fair share). Here’s why I gave it a 10:

Three memorable points on coaching:
--BE LAZY: Stop working so hard.
--BE CURIOUS: Stop giving so much advice.
--BE OFTEN: Stop waiting to coach.

And how’s this for role reversal? I’m usually reading snippets from books to my wife. She picked this up first and is still reading—and reminding me—on what effective coaching looks like, especially the “stop giving so much advice” poke-in-the-ribs. Ouch.

Stanier notes that “Harland Howard said every great country song has three chords and the truth. This book gives you seven questions and the tools to make them an everyday way to work less hard and have more impact.” The seven essential questions:
--The Kickstart Question
--The AWE Question
--The Focus Question
--The Foundation Question
--The Lazy Question
--The Strategic Question
--The Learning Question

Stanier says the best coaching question in the world is the AWE question: “And What Else?”

In a four-minute drill with another board chair, I was instructed to ask four questions displayed on the seminar room screen. Stanier says “the first answer someone gives you is almost never the only answer, and it’s rarely the best answer,” so the AWE question is the perfect follow-up.
--Q1: What’s the real challenge here for you?
--Q2: And what else?
--Q3: And what else?
--Q4: So what’s the real challenge here for you?

In just four minutes—it was almost magical. I stuck to the bargain (whew—very hard) and just asked questions of my board chair partner. He responded to each question—and increasingly, in response to “And what else?” he dug deeper and deeper and—BINGO!—answered his own question and solved his own challenge.

Where was this book when I was pretending to coach team members, clients, my son, my grandkids, and many, many others? Yikes!

I’ve underlined gems on almost every page:
--Although coaching is listed as one of the six essential leadership styles in Daniel Goleman’s article, “Leadership That Gets Results” (a Harvard Business Review classic), “it was the least-used leadership style.”
--“You can build a coaching habit” and “You can coach someone in ten minutes or less. And in today’s busy world, you have to be able to coach in ten minutes or less.”
--“Coaching should be a daily, informal act, not an occasional, formal ‘It’s Coaching Time!’ event.”

Stanier’s humor sneaks up on you! As you embark on what he calls the “coaching habit,” he suggests you start somewhere easy:

“If you’re going to manage someone differently, pick someone who might be up for it and is willing to cut you some slack. Or pick someone with whom it’s all going so badly that you’ve got nothing left to lose.”

ANOTHER AHA! The author says there’s a huge difference between coaching for performance—and coaching for development. “Call them forward to learn, improve and grow, rather than to just get something sorted out.”

A gargantuan fan of questions—versus answers—he quotes Nancy Willard: “Answers are closed rooms; and questions are open doors that invite us in.”

“CUT THE INTRO AND ASK THE QUESTION” is another shot over the bow. He notes, “No James Bond movie starts off slowly. Pow! Within 10 seconds you’re into the action, the adrenaline has jacked and the heart is beating faster”—so “cut the preliminary flim-flam” in your coaching process. In 72-point font on page 52, Stanier shouts: “If you know what question to ask,
get to the point and ask it.”

TAME THE ADVICE MONSTER! “We’ve all got a deeply ingrained habit of slipping into the advice-giver/expert/answer-it/solve-it/fix-it mode.” (One study revealed that doctors interrupt patients with advice within 18 seconds. Ditto, perhaps, the rest of us.)

Slow down and take a breath, says Stanier. “Even though we don’t really know what the issue is, we’re quite sure we’ve got the answer they need.”

VP OF BOTTLENECKING. If your employee name badge should read “VP of Bottlenecking,” you must read this book. These seven essential coaching questions will help you coach others, and as Stanier perceptively writes, “Focus on the real problem, not the first problem.”

There are dozens and dozens of more gems in this fresh, easy-to-read format (plus almost 50 full-page quotations—all PowerPoint-worthy). I just ordered eight books for colleagues who are coaching boards and CEOs this year.

676 people found this helpful

Joel C. Small

SIMPLE, YET EFFECTIVE.

23 February 2018 - Published on Amazon.com

Verified Purchase

I am a board certified executive coach in the healthcare industry. For some time now I have been searching for a way to provide my doctors with coaching skills they can use within their clinical practices. Creating coaching cultures within organizations is currently a very hot topic in the coaching world, so when I became aware of Michael Stanier's book I immediately downloaded it to my kindle. I found his book to be remarkable because of its simplicity and powerful message. After struggling trying to decide how to impart all of a coaches knowledge and skill to my clients, Michael's book provided the realization that most clients do not need to be full fledged coaches to transform their existing practice culture to a coaching culture. Michael's book provides basic, yet simple, techniques that anyone can use to begin coaching their people.
The most powerful message found in this book is that we must move away from being "problem solvers", and concentrate our efforts on
becoming "people developers". By doing so we challenge our people to become the best they can be, and in the process we become much better leaders.

58 people found this helpful

Edwin Dalorzo

Total waste of time. Keep looking

9 November 2018 - Published on Amazon.com

Verified Purchase

This book is a total waste of time. You know it after reading the first chapter and realizing it has no substance. It is just blah, blah, blah from some management trainer who could have summarized all the knowledge in his book in one or two blog posts.

Most of the valuable stuff in the book are quotes from the author to dozens of other books he likes.

The author is trying too hard to make a sale for his management trainings and his book, even asking to give him a good review in Amazon.

The book does not even have the redeeming quality of being entertaining. The author simply takes too long to make his point and I often found myself skipping pages, looking for something good where I should stop. I kept skipping and skipping until I reached the end.

This book is pure boredom in prose, with not even empirical research sustaining the arguments presented by author. We’re supposed to believe him only because he wrote this book.

If you’re looking to learn about coaching teams, this is not the book. Keep looking.

34 people found this helpful

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