Review
"This book reminds people of the importance of learning to be kind and supportive to themselves and to appreciate themselves for who they are." —Dr. Kristin Neff, PhD, bestselling author of Self-Compassion: The Proven Power of Being Kind to Yourself
“Mary reminds us that one of the kindest acts of self-care involves tuning out the pressures of the outside world and learning to appreciate ourselves for who we truly are.” —Shannon Kaiser author of The Self-Love Experiment and Joy Seeker
“This workbook is filled with actionable advice that will actually help you put self-love into practice (the most important part!). This book will help you work through the beliefs and expectations that have kept you stuck, and help you realize that you are wonderful exactly as you are.” —Caroline Dooner, author of The F*ck It Diet
“Through a lens of Intuitive Eating and Health at Every Size, Mary has written a supportive, encouraging book to help you fight diet culture and come to a place of gratitude for the mere existence of your body. By relating to her personal story, Mary will help you see that you’re not alone in your struggles with food and your body and will give you the courage to make the changes you need to live a trusting, sensual, and meaningful life. I highly recommend this beautiful, compassionate book for all who need a guidebook toward self-appreciation and self-love.” —Elyse Resch, MS, RDN, CEDRD-S, nutrition therapist and author of The Intuitive Eating Workbook for Teens and The Intuitive Eating Journal—Principles for Nourishing a Healthy Relationship with Food; Co-author of Intuitive Eating and The Intuitive Eating Workbook
“For topics so nuanced, despicably monetized, and often traumatizing, Mary tackles body image, diet culture, and self acceptance masterfully. She seamlessly weaves together data, anecdotes, and poignant questions to paint a picture of what self-love could look like in the real, everyday version of our lives if we’re brave enough to reach out and take it.” —Zoe Marshall, TV writer and producer
“Mary has written a game changing book that will change the lives of so many women! She bravely tackles the topic of radical self love and how that can and will impact any woman with body issues (all of us!) but especially women struggling with eating disorders. This book gives people permission to embrace their bodies and love themselves for who they truly are.” —Regena Thomashauer, author of Pussy: A Reclamation
“In this relatable and practical workbook, Mary helps move people from disempowering self-criticism to renewed self-love.” —Kara Loewentheil, J.D., M.C.C., host of the UnF*ck Your Brain podcast
“Mary is a pioneer in the self love movement and really does gets it. This book is an absolute must read for any woman who wants to heal her relationship with food and her body, and connect with her true power.” —Mel Wells, bestselling author of The Goddess Revolution, speaker and eating psychology coach
About the Author
Mary Jelkovsky, known as @maryscupofteaa on social media, is a speaker, author, and podcast host whose self-love journey has been a guiding force for millions of people around the world. After healing from a 7-year eating disorder, Mary started sharing her story publicly to help people find peace from within, ignore society’s expectations, and recognize that they are worthy of more love than they ever thought possible. Mary’s story and voice have been featured in Teen Vogue, Health, and Shape. She has also spoken at TEDx and regularly hosts self-love retreats for women across the globe.
Excerpt. © Reprinted by permission. All rights reserved.
Do you ever find yourself caught in a negative thought spiral that tells you you’re just not enough?
Not skinny enough. Not pretty enough. Not fit enough.
Not smart enough. Not accomplished enough. Not confident enough.
Not a good enough mom or wife or daughter or sister or friend.
Do you ever feel like you can’t shake these thoughts, no matter what you do?
Despite knowing better, do you find yourself mindlessly scrolling through Instagram, comparing yourself with all those super gorgeous lifestyle bloggers and wondering what they even do for a living? Or maybe to that popular girl from high school whose life still looks perfect? Or to those moms who manage to always look rested, put together, and dress their kids in the cutest outfits?
If your answer is yes to any of those, I have one thing to say: I feel you, babe.
I used to struggle with these feelings all the time, and to be honest, sometimes I still do. I think we all do. Sometimes these thoughts are short lived, slipping away as fast as they came.
But other times, the feeling of not being enough can linger for days or even weeks. Sometimes you get so used to feeling bad about yourself that you don’t even notice that it’s been a few years since you actually felt good. That critical voice inside your head constantly reminds you that you aren’t enough and then tells you that you’ll never be enough until you …
Lose those last 10 pounds, get rid of your baby weight, or tone your arms some more. Get a promotion, a raise, or a bonus. Cook a delicious, yet healthy, meal for your family and pack perfect lunches for the kids, preferably the night before, because that’s what good moms do, right? Learn another skill that will let you change your resume from “intermediate” to “proficient.” Do your makeup and get your eyebrows waxed, eyelashes filled, and nails done. Find a significant other and get married, plan the perfect wedding, and then throw the perfect cocktail parties, just like your ex–best friend from high school (thanks, Facebook, for throwing those photos in my face!). After that, buy a nicer car and a bigger house, and after that …
Look, I get it. For years, I thought the solution to “not being good enough” was to simply have more and do more. I thought if I just worked harder on myself, then I would have more to be happy about, which would eventually make me feel better about myself as a whole.
But the trick with this kind of thinking is that it never ends. And guess what. No matter how much weight I lost, how many nice things I bought, or how much I accomplished, that underlying feeling of not being enough didn’t go away. If anything, it got worse over time.
Eventually, I had to find another way.
