Love Must Be Tough: New Hope for Marriages in Crisis Paperback – Illustrated, 1 April 2007
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From the Back Cover
Have you tried everything to save your marriage?
You've forgiven a thousand times. You've bent over backwards to make your partner feel loved and accepted. But the only reward for your loyalty has been anger, indifference, infidelity, or abuse. Your spouse may even be ready to walk out the door.
Do you feel like all is lost? Are you ready to give up? There is still hope.
Dr. James Dobson's "tough love" principles have proven to be uniquely valuable and effective. Unlike most approaches to marriage crisis, the strategy in this groundbreaking classic does not require the willing cooperation of both spouses. "Love Must Be Tough" offers the guidance that gives you the best chance of rekindling romance, renewing your relationship, and drawing your partner back into your arms.
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Most helpful customer reviews on Amazon.com
I know that God hates divorce, which in all honesty, is a huge part of why we're still together. But the Bible also says "The prudent see danger and take refuge, but the simple keep going and pay the penalty." I have been reminded of this verse in Proverbs so many times because I saw the danger and I kept going and I have paid the penalty over and over.
So bottom line - I have bought this book many times to share with friends who are going through a similar situation. This book works. It's not a magic trick or a game of chess. You will learn to set boundaries and stand up for yourself. Your spouse may end up walking away or coming back. But please consider the real possibility that you may endure decades of regret, heartache, and sorrow if you choose to take him or her back. You only get one trip through this life, don't let bad decisions make it more miserable than it has to be. You deserve to be not only loved, but cherished.
The target audience of the book is an offended spouse. Complete innocence is rare in troubled marriages, but when adultery--or near-adultery--takes place, the offended partner will find practical Biblical advice in this book. Be aware that the advice given here is unlikely to massage your feelings if you're the offended party. The truth is, you're probably already headed in the wrong direction--wounded parties tend to get to that place because of already-established patterns running in bad directions. This book is a last-resort wake up call. But individually and as a pastor, I have seen this advice save marriages and relationships.
Read it and trust it. James Dobson's advice is timeless and priceless.
Initially I emphasized the 'wrong' word in the title... thinking, "ohhh, LOVE must be tough". But actually "love MUST BE tough" is more the strategy. We need to stop fooling ourselves in difficult/dysfunctional relationships and recognize that our personal dignity is VALUABLE and that God did not create us to be 'bystanders' (or enablers) when being mistreated and disrespected in our marriages.
I would recommend this book to all friends.