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Peaceful Parent, Happy Kids: How to Stop Yelling and Start Connecting Paperback – 28 November 2012
by
Dr. Laura Markham
(Author)
Enhance your purchase
A groundbreaking guide to raising responsible, capable, happy kids
Based on the latest research on brain development and extensive clinical experience with parents, Dr. Laura Markham’s approach is as simple as it is effective. Her message: Fostering emotional connection with your child creates real and lasting change. When you have that vital connection, you don’t need to threaten, nag, plead, bribe—or even punish.
This remarkable guide will help parents better understand their own emotions—and get them in check—so they can parent with healthy limits, empathy, and clear communication to raise a self-disciplined child. Step-by-step examples give solutions and kid-tested phrasing for parents of toddlers right through the elementary years.
If you’re tired of power struggles, tantrums, and searching for the right “consequence,” look no further. You’re about to discover the practical tools you need to transform your parenting in a positive, proven way.
Based on the latest research on brain development and extensive clinical experience with parents, Dr. Laura Markham’s approach is as simple as it is effective. Her message: Fostering emotional connection with your child creates real and lasting change. When you have that vital connection, you don’t need to threaten, nag, plead, bribe—or even punish.
This remarkable guide will help parents better understand their own emotions—and get them in check—so they can parent with healthy limits, empathy, and clear communication to raise a self-disciplined child. Step-by-step examples give solutions and kid-tested phrasing for parents of toddlers right through the elementary years.
If you’re tired of power struggles, tantrums, and searching for the right “consequence,” look no further. You’re about to discover the practical tools you need to transform your parenting in a positive, proven way.
- Print length304 pages
- LanguageEnglish
- Publication date28 November 2012
- Reading age18 years and up
- ISBN-100399160280
- ISBN-13978-0399160288
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Product description
Review
"Dr. Laura is always tuned in to what kids need so they can thrive, and what moms and dads need so they can parent well. If you want to feel more confident and peaceful as a parent, this is the book. Dr. Laura helps you understand what drives your child's behavior, and gives you the practical tools to change it."
—Elizabeth Pantley, author of twelve parenting books including The No Cry Sleep Solution
“If you want to declare peace in your home, follow Dr. Laura Markham's original and authentic advice. With her emphasis on taking responsibility for our own emotional states as parents and connecting rather than controlling, Dr. Laura offers us suggestions that help us to create strong relationships with our children. If we all followed Dr. Laura's advice, we would indeed change the world."
—Peggy O'Mara, Founder of Mothering.com
“If you’re a parent who has been trying hard with your child, with mixed results, read this book. Peaceful Parents, Happy Kids can change your parenting life. Dr. Laura Markham shares an invaluable set of insights that are new to the world of parenting. She will show you how to deliver your love and guidance in a truly nurturing way, and how to avoid parental burn-out in the process.”
—Patty Wipfler, Founder of Hand-in-Hand.org
"The Aha! moment in Dr. Laura Markham's Peaceful Parent, Happy Kids is that attachment isn't just for babies. Attachment provides the foundation for the growing child to learn emotional intelligence, empathy, and responsibility while he masters his environment. Dr. Laura teaches by example, holding parents with compassion as she gives them priceless, easy to use strategies to create a secure, healthy attachment with their child.”
—Lysa Parker & Barbara Nicholson, Founders of Attachment Parenting International, and authors of Attached at the Heart
"Dr. Laura shows parents how their empathy can wire their child's brain for emotional regulation and happiness -- and a brighter future for humanity. Her understanding and knowledge of the many challenges of raising loving, compassionate children gives parents powerful tools to be the best that they can be. A simple, yet revolutionary, message of love."
—Nancy Samalin, M.S, author of Loving Without Spoiling
“Peaceful Parents, Happy Kids has two important ideas, and one revolutionary idea. Dr. Laura Markham’s guidance on fostering connection and coaching instead of controlling are the important ideas, and they can make a huge difference in your life as a parent. Her explanation of why parents need to regulate ourselves first—before we can help regulate our children--is the revolutionary idea. Read it and you’ll see why she calls her work ‘Aha! Parenting.’”
“Dr. Laura Markham's work is practical, easy-to-apply and transformative. Get a cup of coffee, find a comfy chair, and be prepared to get great advice from a wise, new friend and fellow parent.”
—Jacqueline Green, Host of the Great Parenting Show
“A much-needed resource for parents….encouragement and actionable, doable, advice for parents to strengthen their connection with their children, and take care of themselves. Clearly helps parents to see how what they are doing today impacts and influences what happens tomorrow, yet the tone is gentle and non-judgmental. Such a user-friendly format for (often) weary parents.”
—Lisa Sunbury, RegardingBaby.org
“Parents, this is the book we've all been waiting for. Dr. Laura Markham’s compassion, wisdom, common sense, love and understanding radiates in each carefully chosen word, example and suggestion throughout this well-written, easy-to-read, delicious book on peaceful parenting. From her chapter on effectively managing anger, ‘Listen to your anger, rather than act on it,’ to my favorite quote, ‘Your child is acting like a child because he is one,’ you’ll know you’ve found your parenting bible. Thank you, Dr. Markham.”
—Elizabeth Pantley, author of twelve parenting books including The No Cry Sleep Solution
“If you want to declare peace in your home, follow Dr. Laura Markham's original and authentic advice. With her emphasis on taking responsibility for our own emotional states as parents and connecting rather than controlling, Dr. Laura offers us suggestions that help us to create strong relationships with our children. If we all followed Dr. Laura's advice, we would indeed change the world."
—Peggy O'Mara, Founder of Mothering.com
“If you’re a parent who has been trying hard with your child, with mixed results, read this book. Peaceful Parents, Happy Kids can change your parenting life. Dr. Laura Markham shares an invaluable set of insights that are new to the world of parenting. She will show you how to deliver your love and guidance in a truly nurturing way, and how to avoid parental burn-out in the process.”
—Patty Wipfler, Founder of Hand-in-Hand.org
"The Aha! moment in Dr. Laura Markham's Peaceful Parent, Happy Kids is that attachment isn't just for babies. Attachment provides the foundation for the growing child to learn emotional intelligence, empathy, and responsibility while he masters his environment. Dr. Laura teaches by example, holding parents with compassion as she gives them priceless, easy to use strategies to create a secure, healthy attachment with their child.”
—Lysa Parker & Barbara Nicholson, Founders of Attachment Parenting International, and authors of Attached at the Heart
"Dr. Laura shows parents how their empathy can wire their child's brain for emotional regulation and happiness -- and a brighter future for humanity. Her understanding and knowledge of the many challenges of raising loving, compassionate children gives parents powerful tools to be the best that they can be. A simple, yet revolutionary, message of love."
—Nancy Samalin, M.S, author of Loving Without Spoiling
“Peaceful Parents, Happy Kids has two important ideas, and one revolutionary idea. Dr. Laura Markham’s guidance on fostering connection and coaching instead of controlling are the important ideas, and they can make a huge difference in your life as a parent. Her explanation of why parents need to regulate ourselves first—before we can help regulate our children--is the revolutionary idea. Read it and you’ll see why she calls her work ‘Aha! Parenting.’”
—Lawrence J. Cohen, PhD, author of Playful Parenting
“Dr. Laura Markham's work is practical, easy-to-apply and transformative. Get a cup of coffee, find a comfy chair, and be prepared to get great advice from a wise, new friend and fellow parent.”
—Jacqueline Green, Host of the Great Parenting Show
“A much-needed resource for parents….encouragement and actionable, doable, advice for parents to strengthen their connection with their children, and take care of themselves. Clearly helps parents to see how what they are doing today impacts and influences what happens tomorrow, yet the tone is gentle and non-judgmental. Such a user-friendly format for (often) weary parents.”
—Lisa Sunbury, RegardingBaby.org
“Parents, this is the book we've all been waiting for. Dr. Laura Markham’s compassion, wisdom, common sense, love and understanding radiates in each carefully chosen word, example and suggestion throughout this well-written, easy-to-read, delicious book on peaceful parenting. From her chapter on effectively managing anger, ‘Listen to your anger, rather than act on it,’ to my favorite quote, ‘Your child is acting like a child because he is one,’ you’ll know you’ve found your parenting bible. Thank you, Dr. Markham.”
— Rev. Susan Nason, Parent Educator and Consultant
About the Author
Dr. Laura Markham is a clinical psychologist specializing in child development and parenting. The founder of AhaParenting.com, she supports parents every day in her private coaching practice and daily email inspirations. She lives in New York City with her husband and their two teenage children.
Product details
- Language : English
- Paperback : 304 pages
- ISBN-10 : 0399160280
- ISBN-13 : 978-0399160288
- Reading age : 18 years and up
- Best Sellers Rank: 6,923 in Books (See Top 100 in Books)
- 147 in Raising Children
- 332 in Psychology & Psychiatry
- Customer reviews:
Customer reviews
4.7 out of 5 stars
4.7 out of 5
2,419 global ratings
How are ratings calculated?
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Top reviews from other countries

Jennifer Juniper
5.0 out of 5 stars
Very useful book!
Reviewed in the United Kingdom 🇬🇧 on 1 May 2013Verified Purchase
This is so helpful and thoughtful. Still reading it, but you can dip in and out of it. It really makes you think about where your own behaviour and thoughts come from, and how to sort important issues out.
2 people found this helpful
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ELI DUBOVA
5.0 out of 5 stars
Finally a book that doesn't tells me spanking is the necessary evil!
Reviewed in the United Kingdom 🇬🇧 on 7 July 2013Verified Purchase
I always knew that there must be a better way of raising a great child and a person, other than through hitting, yelling, disciplining, punishing, all those "necessary" evils. I think this is the best thing I have found in my whole life because it's going to help me raise peaceful and happy kids. Thank you from my heart dr. Laura Markhan!
4 people found this helpful
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Helen Whitehead
5.0 out of 5 stars
Great!
Reviewed in the United Kingdom 🇬🇧 on 31 August 2013Verified Purchase
Amazing read and excellent delivery too.... This woman is such an inspiration and every parent should get their hands on this book. A revelation!
One person found this helpful
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Amazon Customer
4.0 out of 5 stars
Interesting read - make up your own mind
Reviewed in Canada 🇨🇦 on 2 October 2017Verified Purchase
It's a little preachy and you need to take everything it says with a grain of salt. It mentions many studies done however does not list them specifically so you wonder where they really got their data from. However there are elements of the book which do make a lot of sense and provides a different perspective to parenting and how your child behaves. Harsh discipline is only one way to go about it and it's interesting to read about alternatives. Ultimately as parent you need to decide what kind of parent you want to be and how to get the best results. I don't believe there is ever only ONE way to do things and there are different solutions that work for different families. Just keep an open mind and be willing to try anything.
I started reading this book when I had been on holiday and my 2 year old was acting up a lot, and my sister in law who was very well meaning put my son in timeout (with my consent). I had never administered that kind of punishment before and was interested in seeing how she did it as she's a mother of 3 generally well behaved kids. However, after doing it a few times while on holiday and then at home, I got the growing sense that a) it wasn't working and b) it felt wrong. My son looked at me differently, he ran to daddy instead of me and he was acting out MORE. I decided punishment might be something we do but not at this age and not in this manner.
Since reading the book I've stopped yelling at my son and spent a lot more 1 on 1 concentrated time with him on a daily basis. I have always been a mom who loves to show physical affection to my son but I wasn't always willing to play with him, preferring to leave that to his dad. Since I started spending more time focusing just on him, I've noticed his behavior has MARKEDLY improved. There's definitely something to the philosophies in the book which can help.
I started reading this book when I had been on holiday and my 2 year old was acting up a lot, and my sister in law who was very well meaning put my son in timeout (with my consent). I had never administered that kind of punishment before and was interested in seeing how she did it as she's a mother of 3 generally well behaved kids. However, after doing it a few times while on holiday and then at home, I got the growing sense that a) it wasn't working and b) it felt wrong. My son looked at me differently, he ran to daddy instead of me and he was acting out MORE. I decided punishment might be something we do but not at this age and not in this manner.
Since reading the book I've stopped yelling at my son and spent a lot more 1 on 1 concentrated time with him on a daily basis. I have always been a mom who loves to show physical affection to my son but I wasn't always willing to play with him, preferring to leave that to his dad. Since I started spending more time focusing just on him, I've noticed his behavior has MARKEDLY improved. There's definitely something to the philosophies in the book which can help.
28 people found this helpful
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petrol head 123
4.0 out of 5 stars
Very useful book
Reviewed in the United Kingdom 🇬🇧 on 30 May 2014Verified Purchase
I found this book really helpful in managing my 2yr old's temper tantrums and managing my reactions to them. Must buy for any parent struggling with the terrible two's
4 people found this helpful
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