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Where Are the Customers' Yachts?: or A Good Hard Look at Wall Street: 32 Paperback – Illustrated, 22 December 2005
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-- From the Foreword by Michael Lewis, Bestselling author of Liar's Poker
". . . one of the funniest books ever written about Wall Street."
-- Jane Bryant Quinn, The Washington Post
"How great to have a reissue of a hilarious classic that proves the more things change the more they stay the same. Only the names have been changed to protect the innocent."
-- Michael Bloomberg
"It's amazing how well Schwed's book is holding up after fifty-five years. About the only thing that's changed on Wall Street is that computers have replaced pencils and graph paper. Otherwise, the basics are the same. The investor's need to believe somebody is matched by the financial advisor's need to make a nice living. If one of them has to be disappointed, it's bound to be the former."
-- John Rothchild, Author, A Fool and His Money, Financial Columnist, Time magazine
Humorous and entertaining, this book exposes the folly and hypocrisy of Wall Street. The title refers to a story about a visitor to New York who admired the yachts of the bankers and brokers. Naively, he asked where all the customers' yachts were? Of course, none of the customers could afford yachts, even though they dutifully followed the advice of their bankers and brokers. Full of wise contrarian advice and offering a true look at the world of investing, in which brokers get rich while their customers go broke, this book continues to open the eyes of investors to the reality of Wall Street.
- Print length208 pages
- LanguageEnglish
- Publication date22 December 2005
- ISBN-100471770892
- ISBN-13978-0471770893
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Product description
Review
“..the book is a fun read and as relevant today as it ever was” (Investor's Chronicle, August 2015)
From the Inside Flap
From the Foreword by Michael Lewis, Bestselling author of Liar's Poker
". . . one of the funniest books ever written about Wall Street."
Jane Bryant Quinn, The Washington Post
"How great to have a reissue of a hilarious classic that proves the more things change the more they stay the same. Only the names have been changed to protect the innocent."
Michael Bloomberg
"It's amazing how well Schwed's book is holding up after fifty-five years. About the only thing that's changed on Wall Street is that computers have replaced pencils and graph paper. Otherwise, the basics are the same. The investor's need to believe somebody is matched by the financial advisor's need to make a nice living. If one of them has to be disappointed, it's bound to be the former."
John Rothchild, Author, A Fool and His Money, Financial Columnist, Time magazine
From the Back Cover
--From the Foreword by Michael Lewis, Bestselling author of Liar's Poker
. . . one of the funniest books ever written about Wall Street.
--Jane Bryant Quinn, The Washington Post
How great to have a reissue of a hilarious classic that proves the more things change the more they stay the same. Only the names have been changed to protect the innocent.
--Michael Bloomberg
It's amazing how well Schwed's book is holding up after fifty-five years. About the only thing that's changed on Wall Street is that computers have replaced pencils and graph paper. Otherwise, the basics are the same. The investor's need to believe somebody is matched by the financial advisor's need to make a nice living. If one of them has to be disappointed, it's bound to be the former.
--John Rothchild, Author, A Fool and His Money, Financial Columnist, Time magazine
About the Author
Product details
- Language : English
- Paperback : 208 pages
- ISBN-10 : 0471770892
- ISBN-13 : 978-0471770893
- Best Sellers Rank: 37,807 in Books (See Top 100 in Books)
- 548 in Professional Investments & Securities
- 633 in Professional Finance
- Customer reviews:
Customer reviews
Top reviews from other countries

It’s both witty and educational. As the introduction to the 2006 edition by Jason Sweig spells out: “The names and faces and machinery of Wall Street have changed completely from Schwed’s day, but the game remains the same. The Individual Investor is still situated at the very bottom of the food chain, a speck of plankton in a sea of predators”.
The title of the book refers to the apocryphal story of some out-of-town visitors to New York. On arriving at the Battery their guides indicated some handsome ships riding at anchor and said “Look those are the bankers’ and broker’s yachts”. “Where are the customer’s yachts?” asked the naïve visitor.
Here’s one educational paragraph from the book after he comments that “pitifully few financial experts have ever known for two years (much less fifteen) what was going to happen to any class of securities – and that the majority are usually spectacularly wrong in a much shorter time than that”:
“Still he is not a liar; nor is our other friend. I can explain it, because I have not only had lunch with economists, I have sometimes had dinner with psychiatrists. It seems that the immature mind has a regrettable tendency to believe, as actually true, that which it only hopes to be true. In this case the notion that the financial future is not predictable is just too unpleasant to be given any room at all in the Wall Streeter’s consciousness. But we expect a child to grow up in time and learn what is reality, as opposed to what are only his hopes. This however is asking too much of the romantic Wall Streeter – and they are all romantics, whether they be villains or philanthropists. Else they would never have chosen this business which is the business of dreams”.
On the subject of trusts he says “There has been a good deal of thoughtful, searching legislation enacted against trust abuses in recent years, and all of it favors the investor. The sad thing is that there can be no legislation against stupidity”. The recent events at Woodford come to mind.
The writer also comments on the detachment of the investor or speculator from the real businesses represented by pieces of paper – and “with these pieces of paper thrilling games can be played……this inability to grasp ultimate realities is the outstanding mental deficiency of the speculator, small as well as great”.
He points out that one of the agendas of the S.E.C. is to work towards the ideal of a completely informed investing public. A laudable effort he says but then points out that then “everybody would know whether to buy or sell, and whichever it was, everybody would try to do the same thing at once”. Orderly markets exist on differences of opinion. This view is worth pondering now that we have such instant dissemination of financial news and analysis on large cap stocks.
There is a much wisdom in this book which is both relatively short and readable. Highly recommended for those new to investment for the education and to experienced investors for the levity.


The best parts could be those in which it mocks the language of bankers and financiers.
A very important book, essential to understand the banks, funds and other financial entities and how they treat their clients.

The author was a broker for many years and over that time tried to find someone who could consistently make money through investing.
He was disappointed in what he saw around him and conveys this in numerous funny anecdotes through out the book.
Take it as a refreshing warning on the pitfalls on investing - and then read books on Mr. Buffet , Mr. Graham and on Mr. Munger. They are complimentary treaties.
